Spiritual Leadership In The Family

"For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." - Ephesians 5:23-25

That is not a popular thought in today's culture. The idea of the husband being over the wife from the world's perspective is anathema - abhorrent. Certainly not keeping in step with the "age of enlightened thinking and doing". But let me remind you that this is a spiritual charge that Paul was giving to the church at Ephesus (and to the Church as a whole) - not a natural one.  

"the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned." - 1 Corinthians 2:14

Don't try to interpret the Bible in the context our culture's wisdom. You will be wrong every time. To understand scripture requires revelation by the Spirit of God. 

"All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man [or woman] of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work." - 2 Timothy 3:16-17

So what does Ephesians 5:23-25 mean in its spiritual and intended context? God has set an order for a reason. He has given the husband primary spiritual responsibility for the family. Of course, in order to fulfill that responsibility as God intended, the husband must be born again. Otherwise he does not have the power or inclination to do what God has said do. 

With respect to the wife. Well, in my thinking, the single most important person walking on this planet should be your spouse - whether you be the husband or the wife. As the spiritual head of the family, the man is to love his wife like Jesus loves the Church. Sacrificially - willing to deny himself in favor of his wife. Of course, all of that being in concert with his walking in obedience to God.

"And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” - Matthew 20:27-28

So the husband should not have an expectation that he is to be served, as the "man" of the house - but that he should serve - just like Jesus. The great thing is, the wife - walking by the Spirit - will want to serve her husband in the same way - that's the second greatest commandment. The husband and wife should have a mutual and complimentary concern for one another. Placing their spouse ahead of themselves. Perhaps you remember the short story - "The Gift of The Maji" Della sells her beautiful hair in order to buy a nice watch chain for Jim’s beloved heirloom watch. When Jim comes home, he reveals that he has sold his watch to buy lovely combs for Della's hair. That is what our married lives, marriages as God intended, are supposed to be like. How is that going for you?

But there is more. One of the lessons I learned in the Army was that you can delegate authority (the power to do something) but you cannot delegate the responsibility for getting that something done. Like President Harry Truman said, "The Buck stops here!" The spiritual responsibility for the family "buck" stops with the husband. Very often spiritual training of the children is delegated to the wife as if it were her responsibility. In fact, the husband and wife are both to teach their children well. But it is the husband's primary responsibility. And that starts with showing the children how a husband should love his wife. How is that going for you? 

Think about it – Pray about it – Believe it – Walk in it. Let your light shine and give God the glory. 

By Faith Alone By His Grace Alone And For His Glory Alone