If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:18-21
Have you ever been at odds with someone, Christian or not. Is it possible to be hospitable toward people that have a mean spirit toward you? You may have sought to be reconciled, but they would have none of it. So what to do? Well, as my dad would say, let's look at the Bible and see what it says about it. You see - if you rely on your flesh - you feelings - then you will be tempted to respond in kind. An eye for and eye. What did Jesus say.
You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. - Matthew 5:38-41
When your old nature cries out for justice - your spirit says show them grace and mercy. They don't deserve it - that is what unmerited favor means. Oh you might feel provoked and might even be able to respond forcefully, but don't. Stay your hand. Don't harbor a grudge - if you do you will have lost the battle - given in to the temptation to sin. What? Well think about it. What is sin - to disobey the will of God. And what might that be? Well, re-read the previous verses. The Bible is not a book of suggestions.
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. - 2 Timothy 3:16-17
I have quoted this before but it bears repeating. Our pastor - with regard to 2 Tim 3 said the Bible gives us spiritual wisdom and understanding: to know what’s [right], to know what’s [not right], to know how to [get right], to know how to [stay right].
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? - Matthew 5:43-46
So there is no room for unforgiveness in the heart of a Christian. People may harbor negative attitudes toward you but we don't have the liberty to respond in kind. Oh - our flesh may cry out for reciprocity - vindication even, but God has made it clear that one bad turn does not deserve or justify another. And not doing something in response but harboring the desire to do it in you heart it is still sin.
Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. - 1 John 3:13-15
That doesn't give us much wiggle room does it?
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