Biblical Forgiveness – Forgiving And Forgetting – Part 3

When someone sins against another person, there is often much emotional pain associated with that sin.  There are feelings of betrayal, disappointment, anger, sadness, heartache and loss just to name a few.  We want it to be not true so badly, but the truth is there.  We want it to be undone and yet the one who has violated our trust withholds the undoing. What should we do? This is what God, through the Apostle Paul, said we should do. 

Our Spiritual Obligation To Forgive Others 

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

Forgiving like God when a Christian sins against another Christian. 

When God gives us a solution, it is always a spiritual solution. What we are talking about here is spiritual not natural.  The natural man is not “in Christ.” It is impossible for them to forgive like God. They are spiritually dead.  It is not impossible for a Christian but it requires a broken heart before God and submission to the Spirit. Obedience to the word of God.  

I was talking with a gentleman today, Todd Hamilton (with 2 “Ds”).  He is 90 years young, a semi-retired pastor of 60+ years and missionary.  We were talking about each our journeys and what was required of us by the Lord. He said faith and obedience.  I added that first there must be submission to the Spirit of God by faith and then comes obedience – action. He agreed with me. I love talking to men like Todd.  They are such an encouragement to me. And so it is with forgiveness. 

For the sake of this discussion, I will continue to use Bob and Fred.  They are both Christians. Fred has sinned against Bob in some way.  So, what does the Word say about a Christian sinning against another Christian.  Bob and Fred are Brothers in Christ.  They are both adopted into the family of God.  They are both grafted into the Vine by faith and the grace and mercy of God. God initiated the forgiveness of man by sending His Son. So just as “in Christ, God forgave us”, we should not sit around waiting for the offender to come knocking on our door.

Willingness to forgive happens in our heart, but restoration of the sinner will only happen when they confess and repent of their sin. That means that they must submit to the spirit and confess and repent.  It is spiritual. So let see what the Word says. 

 “Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. – Matthew 18:15-17 

Uh-oh! It seems as though Jesus expected Bob to go to Fred about Fred’s sin.  Not just wait for Fred to come calling.  Let’s look at the progression of what is called “intervention” in Celebrate Recover and Alcoholics Anonymous.  

Step 1.  Bob goes to Fred, alone – in private, and talks to him about the offense.  The goal is to encourage confession, repentance and restoration. But Fred refuses and does not want to hear it.

Step 2. So, Bob asks two other Christians, of the same gender, that are known to both him and Fred to talk to Fred. Fred rejects their advances as well. 

Step 3.  So, Bob goes to the church.  Ok this is where the process might break down.  If Bob and Fred don’t attend the same local church then Bob’s church has no authority over Fred. There are two possibilities here.

One. Both men do attend the same church and the church exercises spiritual discipline. But Fred refuses to hear the leaders of the church.  Fred has chosen to live in sin and Bob must treat Fred like he was not a Christian.  The reason is that Fred has chosen to follow his old nature and will not respond to spiritual reason or authority. 

Two. The men do not attend the same church or the church does not exercise spiritual discipline.  Bob must go back to step 2 and treat Fred like he is not a Christian. 

So how does Bob treat Fred like an unbeliever?  I will tell you tomorrow ….