How To Change Someone’s Heart – When Words Are Not Enough

“Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.” – 2 Corinthians 5:16-19

I attended a meeting the other evening where disaster relief leaders were learning about ways to build effective volunteer teams. As a practical exercise, the group shared prayer requests.  Nearly every person in the room talked about their desire to see their children embrace their faith.  Have you ever been watching a movie and you become so caught up in it that you start talking to the people on the screen.  Perhaps they are going into another room and you know what is in the room.  So you tell them not to open the door! Oh, if they would only listen.  But they don’t and what you knew would happen, happens.

That is the feeling those people had as they watched their children struggle with life.  If they would only listen! One of my daughter reminds me of the lectures I would give her when she was at home.  I like to think of it as a training ground for the ministry I would have in later years.  But the truth is that I was speaking truth to her and warning her not to open that door! My definition of a lecture is someone hearing truth and not wanting to obey it. Talk to the hand! Today she often says, “Everything you told me was true.  If I had only listened.” 

We worry over our children when they seem to have rejected their faith in favor of embracing the world and its brokenness. The thing is, we cannot change someone’s heart, not with words or worry.  Only God can do that.  Prisons are full of people who will go back to doing what they were doing before when they are released.  They have been confined, but they have not been changed.  

“I [Jesus] will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.” – John 14:16-17

God, the Father, sent the Holy Spirit and sealed each Believer to begin the heart change process.  That does not mean that we will always submit to the Spirit.  Even though each one of us is a temple of the Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16) we still want to open the doors that we shouldn’t.  It is our struggle with our old nature.  We still quench the Spirit’s influence. (1 Thessalonians 5:19) And so do the ones that we love.  What they need in those times is to come under the conviction of the Holy Spirit. We need to pray that the Spirit of God will convict them of their sin and will draw them back to the Lord. And what do we do? We love them without enabling them.  We pray for them in faith.  Do our hearts hurt, absolutely. But so does God’s.  That is why He sent Jesus.  That is why He sent a Helper.  It is a spiritual problem manifested in the natural.

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Knowing The Difference Between Judgement And Discernment

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.. – Matthew 7:1-5

“Who made you the judge!” Have you ever said that, thought that or heard that?  There is but one spiritual Judge.  One moral law Giver.

“There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?” – James 4:12

We do not have the authority to judge others. We must be careful that we do not judge others when we see them struggling a sin.  That does not mean that we ignore sin in others, it means that we don’t judge them. Those who are Christians, we can encourage and pray that they will no longer yield to their flesh, old nature, but to the Spirit of God.  Those who are not Christians, we can encourage them to repent and pray to that end.  There is a difference between judging and discernment.  We don’t judge others.  At the same time, we don’t condone the sin.

If the Bible says it’s sin, it’s sin.  Our culture has been busy in redefining right and wrong, but God’s Word has not changed.  Be careful that you don’t let your compassion for people cause you to abandon Truth.  Your compassion for people should compel you to seek after the best for them which, ultimately, is new birth.  You cannot change the hearts of others, only God can do that.

To recognize sin as sin is not judgement it is discernment, but to condemn the sinner for their sin in your heart is judgement. If you tell me you are not sinning, but your actions clearly are sinful according to the Word of God, then I must conclude that you are sinning.  That is discernment.  I cannot change your heart, but I know the One who can.

“Now it happened, as Jesus sat at the table in the house, that behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Him and His disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to His disciples, ‘Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ When Jesus heard that, He said to them, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.’” – Matthew 9:10-12

We should not abandon the world and those who reject God. Those that are blinded by sin.

“But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them. For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus’ sake.” – 2 Corinthians 4:3-5

You are in the world so that the world can see Jesus - in you, not so you can judge and condemn others. And Jesus said, if He is lifted up, He will draw people to Himself. (John 12:32)  So lift up Jesus.

Joy In Times Of Trouble - Living On The Supernatural Side

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. – Romans 8:37

In Romans 12 verse 2 Paul wrote that we are transformed.  2 Corinthians 5:17 he wrote that we are new in Christ, the old has passed away.  Our old, sinful nature no longer has claim to our lives.  Perhaps you have heard the example of a caterpillar and a butterfly, metamorphosis, to describe what transformed means.  Once the process has started, there is no way to reverse it.  A butterfly cannot become a caterpillar again.  That transformation requires patience and struggle.

The cocoon or chrysalis is a like the life that we live, we are enclosed in it, but inside there is something going on that cannot be explained in natural terms.  It is a mystery.  An irreversible process.  Once God has you in His hand, there is no one, not even you, that can change that.

“I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” – John 10:28-29

Perhaps the greatest temptation that each of us faces is to lose hope that life can be better.  Circumstances may not change but our lives in Christ are greater than the circumstances we find ourselves in.  Loss, hurt, financial problems, broken relationships .. all of those things come with a fallen world.  We are in that world, but as born again children of God, we are no longer limited by this world.

We have a supernatural side.  We have the capacity to live above our circumstances … not struggle under them.  It all depends upon where we look for our source of strength.

“If God is for us, then who can be against us?” – Romans 8:31

We are being transformed.  The creator God is on our side.  You can have joy in the midst of the struggle.  Perhaps you are in the middle of one right now! Perhaps for a long time. Hold on to this truth.  Look to the hills from whence your help cometh!

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39

Can I get a Hallelujah from somebody?! 

Are You Willing To Meet People At The Point Of Their Need?

“But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?” – 1 John 3:17

Have you ever encountered someone who had an apparent need, something inside of you urged you to take action but you turned away, pushing that thought aside?  Perhaps you thought some justifying thoughts.  “They don’t really need help.” “Why don’t they help themselves?” “It’s not my problem.” “Being around them makes me feel uncomfortable.” I could go on.  There are an infinite number of reasons why we don’t help. Or more directly, why we say “No” to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

Helping people will always cost you something. It won’t necessarily be money, but it could be.  But, it might be time, inconvenience, or maybe there will be an emotional cost.  In any case, it is an expression of love.

“No greater love has one man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend.” – John 15:13

Martie and I had something like this happen to us recently.  It would have been easy for us to demand our rights. After all we were in the “right”. But there was something else at work.  The person had a weakness that brought them heartache and broken relationships.  They needed grace and mercy.  They needed to see Jesus.  Not like Oral Roberts vision of a 900 foot Jesus. (you can Google that) But the image of Jesus that is imprinted in every Believer.

In Romans Paul encouraged us to resist responding to others as the world responds.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” – Romans 12:2

Rather than be conformed to the world’s perspective, allow God to conform you to the image of His Son – Jesus, by the power of His Spirit in you.

“For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.” – Romans 8:29

As you live out your life, you will be confronted with many opportunities to be “inconvenienced” by others.  The Spirit will not prompt you to help every one of them. But He will some of them.  The implication here is that your heart is open to the Spirit of God – that you are spiritually aware and willing to yield to the Spirit.  What I am writing about is a spiritual act, not merely an act of good will.  God is behind it.  He is helping others through you. God chooses who it will be and when and how, your choice is to obey.  You need the Spirit to see past their want and see their need. And then to say “Yes, Lord. Yes. To Your will and to Your Way. I will trust You and obey.  When Your Spirit speaks to me, with my whole heart I’ll agree and I will answer ‘Yes, Lord, yes.’”     

“I Did It My Way” A Good Song Title, But A Bad Way To Live

“He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him..” – 2 Corinthians 5:21

I taught a Sunday School class a couple of years ago. I call it “Applied Christianity”.  A friend said he was going to refer someone to my class who needed to be in a beginning Christianity class.  Unfortunately, in my observation, almost all of the Christians. I know need to be reminded of the fundamentals of my faith.  But more, it is not in the knowing but I the doing. We fall short in our applying what we know to do to our daily living. It does us no good to store up knowledge, week after week, if all we do is store up knowledge. So what to do?  Where to start?

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” – 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Paul starts by telling us what the Word is and does “God breathed and therefore profitable” and ends by telling us why it does it “so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”  But that will only happen if we live a surrendered life.  Surrendered to God, not living in a state of self-trust.  On the back of our currency are the words, “In God We Trust”.  Now you know that is no longer true for our country.  Most of our country lives in defiance of God and for their own pleasure.  Even Christians.  We need to apply our faith to our lives, every day, every moment.

“But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.” – James 1:22

God did not intend for you to live independently from Him.  Jesus defeated sin so you could walk and live rightly with God as your source, the Spirit as your guide and the Word as the lamp to your feet.  If only you will stop trying to do it your own way and listen to God.

Living The Supernatural Life In A Natural World

“I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet, not I but Christ lives in me. And the life that I now live, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” – Galatians 2:20

Supernatural living in a natural world.  That is what we are born again into, a supernatural life.  Does that statement seem strange when you read it?  Excessive? 

“Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation.” – 2 Corinthians 5:16-18

The supernatural life – our new life – is one that is totally dependent upon the One who saved us.  For most of us, the events that we face in life are not any different from any of the people around us who are living natural – unspiritual lives. We face the same things.  We do many of the same things.  We work in the same places.  We suffer through the same tragedies of life. But that is where the similarity ends and the difference begins.  The difference between the natural and the supernatural, the Spirit of God.  You, Christian, have at your disposal the power of the Almighty.  You do not have to face this life alone.  You have the power to stand when others fall.  You can endure life with confidence when others wither under the pressures that this mortal life brings. And why can we be so confident?

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.  Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, “For Your sake we are being put to death all day long; We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:31-39

That’s why !   

Immediate Gratification - Not Having The Faith To Wait

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” – Psalm 27:14

There is a recurring theme in the Bible.  Trusting God or trusting in ourselves.  Abram had waited on God to fulfill His promise in Genesis 15. 

“Then the word of the Lord came to him: ‘This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir.’ He took him outside and said, ‘Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.’ Then he said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’” – Genesis 15:4-5

He and Sarah were impatient and did something on their own. Ishmael was born. (Genesis 16) But then something happened … there was a transaction of faith between Abram and God, and God gave Abram a new name .. Abraham .. father of many nations.  Both Abraham and Sarah laughed at the thought, but soon after, Sarah conceived.  (Genesis 17) It happened when it was impossible to give credit to men.  God received all of the glory. 

It’s the same way with us.  We know God’s promises, but are unwilling to wait on God.  We want to “make it happen”.  We are even willing to accept something less than God’s best because we lack the faith to wait. 

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.” – Hebrews 11:1

Faith is trusting in something you can’t see . .being convinced that it will come to pass, and then living … making choices in the context of that belief.  Faith becomes stronger when faith is exercised.  Are you facing something in your life that is testing your faith?  Testing your confidence in God?  It is a common malady for us Christians. 

There is or was a TV commercial for T.G. Wentworth where people receiving an annuity or settlement said “It’s my money and I want it now.”  To get some money,  they had to be willing to give up a great deal of their money.  To receive something today, they were willing to sacrifice what they would receive tomorrow.  They didn’t want to wait.  Another example is the businesses that do taxes for people and promise an immediate tax refund.  That is not the government’s money the tax payer receives, but the business provides the money at a significant cost to the tax payer.

“Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay.”  – Dr. Ravi Zaccharias

Is not waiting on God, sin?  We sure don’t want to think it is.  King Saul was unwilling to wait and it was accounted as sin.  He lost his kingdom. 

“Saul remained at Gilgal, and all the troops with him were quaking with fear. He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul’s men began to scatter. So he said, “Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings.” And Saul offered up the burnt offering.  Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him. ‘What have you done?’ asked Samuel.” – 1 Samuel 15:7-11

We are unwilling to wait because we don’t trust God.  What is it that you are unwilling to wait for? Don't accept anything but God's best. Waiting on God will always be worth the wait.