When A Husband Loves A Wife And When A Wife Loves A Husband

The other day, as I was leafing through the pages of my Bible, I notice a diagram I had made from either a sermon or a teaching some years back.  The diagram depicted a simple truth.  God loves us and because of that love we are to love others.  You can find that in Matthew 22:37-39 when Jesus condensed all of the Law into two commands – Love God and Love Others.  Also in 1 John 4:19 – We love because He loved us first.  Love is so important which is why Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 

That love is at the root of a marriage relationship or should be if that relationship is to glorify God and be what He intended it to be. If the relationship is based on something else, then it will fall short.  Well – there’s more – in Ephesians 5:25 – Paul wrote that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church.  Meaning that the husband must be willing to lay his life down for his wife.  Give up his dreams even.  The husband has been given great responsibility as the head of the wife.  With responsibility comes authority.  The problem is that many men want to cling to the authority part and shirk their responsibility as the “spiritual” head of the family.  1 Peter 2 and 3, Peter wrote about submission. That wives should submit to their husbands.  Submit to what? His God-given authority. In today’s “progressive” culture, many woman struggle with this.  Why? Because they don’t trust their husbands to NOT abuse their authority and shirk their responsibility. But – Peter goes on to say “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 

In Ephesians 5:22-24 talks about mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

All of this love and submission is in the context of our faith and not our natural life.  The problem is that many see it as problematic because they are looking at it through the lens of their natural, sinful life.  

The bottom line is that success in marriage is dependent upon both partners mutually submitted to each other and both submitted to the Spirit of God– loving each other with the love of God. And if things don’t seem to be working – evaluate that.  When a marriage fails, most assuredly the culprit will be our sin nature.  And if you are unevenly yoked – one of you is not a Christian – that does not relieve the Christian of their responsibility to obey God.  There is so much more to be said – but so many have already said it.  Love each other just like Jesus and the Father loves you. It takes faith to do that. CHARLEY

The Reality Of Death – One Breath Away From Glory

Now this is a topic that people don’t really want to talk about or dwell on.  I noticed that as my wife and I move closer to that “day”. Talking even about life insurance is a bit unsettling to her.  It is sobering, really.  This mortal life that we live is all we know, isn’t it?  Life beyond the grave is something we know about by faith.  For ages, people have been seeking ways to promote longevity.  Some even have themselves “frozen in time”, literally, with the hope that some day someone will figure out a way to unfreeze them and give a healthy life back to them.  People are desperate.  Wealthy people are even more so. Guess what – everyone in your generation is going to die, one way or another.  (Hebrews 9: 27-28) “Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.”  It is inescapable.  Many people try and have tried to hold on to their youth … it is all in vain.  Aging is something that is going to happen – just like death.  (Psalm 119:14-16) “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,    I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”  God does not reveal how we will die or even when we will die, He only tells us that we will die.

I am not trying to be morbid – or insensitive to those who have lost loved ones.  My objective is to get you to think about your life.  Jesus told a parable – recorded in Luke chapter 12 – about a man who had an abundance and wanted to keep it for himself for the future.  The thing was, he had a very short future – his days were up – he was going to die that night.  What are you putting your faith and hope in.  Most of us go to sleep expecting to awake in our bed the next morning – what if you open your eyes and you find yourself in heaven instead?  We should live our lives like today is the last day. If it was, then the earthly issues we worry about would fade into in-significance.  Each breath you take is a gift from God.  Each breath you take is one step closer to Glory.  

I have sat through – listened to – many, many sermons over the years.  I hear the same things over and over – just like you do.  In light of our mortality – we should live for God like there is no tomorrow – there might not be.  Scare tactic? No.  Truth.  (James 1:22) “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”  It’s time to get busy and live like you really mean it.  CHARLEY

If You Think You Can Stop Sinning Completely – Think Again

Has someone ever said something about something and a light comes on? A light of understanding of some spiritual truth that had refused to shine in the past no matter how many times you tried to flip the switch?  Well that happened to me today.  It was during the sermon this morning.  Some might even call what happened – an epiphany. (An epiphany is a moment of sudden revelation or insight.)   Let me explain….. 

The Pastor taught about the three aspects of the Christian life.  First is something called justification – that happens when the penalty for Sin has been paid for.  Sin is the “root” that must be cut in order to free us so we can be declared righteous before God the Father.  Sin is the cause of the separation of man and God.  Sin is what is passed from Adam through all generations.  Jesus defeated Sin so man might be made right through Him. But that is only the beginning of the story. 

Here is where the light came on for me.  

The second aspect our Christian “experience” is sanctification.  Every Christian is being conformed – shaped – into the image of Christ (Romans 8:29) “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”  Now, this is a process that involves obedient submission to the Spirit of God, allowing the Word of God to do its work in our hearts, and the manifestation of the fruit of the Spirit and sins becoming less and less a prominent part of our lives. Just as Sin is the cause - sins are the consequence.

Here is something to think about.  So long as you walk this earth, you will never be sinless.  Sanctification is a process that goes on until we see Jesus – either in death or on the air.  Did you think that you would ever reach a point in this life when you stopped sinning?  And, if you couldn’t stop sinning then there must be something wrong with you?  That maybe your salvation didn’t “take”?  Sins are a consequence of our fallen nature.  Just as Sin is the root – sins are the fruit.  God has given us the means to wage spiritual battle against temptation and when we yield to the temptation that results in – sin (small “s”).  We continue to sin because we struggle with a devotion to our old nature.  The more spiritually mature we become, the less we will sin – but – trust me – we will continue to bear remnants of the fruit of the our old nature so long as we have breath.  Read Galatians chapter 5 to refresh yourself on the fruit of the flesh and the Spirit. 

So – what is the third aspect?  Glorification.  That is when we join Jesus in heaven.  When all things will be new.  There will be no Sin or sins.  Why did God do it this way?  Good question.  Somehow, what we experience during our time of sanctification after we are born again has eternal value.  We will fully understand one day. 1 (Corinthians 13:9-12) “For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”  But for now, we trust God and don’t lose hope. 

Do you struggle with sins in your life?  Of course you do.  You are not alone. Should you be content with the fact that you will sin? God forbid it – and He does. Your struggle – my struggle will not end until we are in heaven.  But God has made a way for us to fight the battle.  Most of the New Testament epistles address this very thing at length.  Think about it.  Why would God want the writers of the New Testament to address the issue of the continuation of sins as a "heads up" for the Church if it were not a significant part of our faith life?  Something to think about.  CHARLEY 

Calling On God In Times Of Trouble

There is something that we called in the Army “foxhole religion”  That is when your life is in mortal danger and you suddenly “get religion”.  You make promises to God. “God if you get me out of this, I promise to be faithful.”  So you get out of it.  Although maybe not for the reason you think. 

You see, God sees the heart (1 Samuel 16:7) “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.””  This is when Samuel had been sent to anoint the next king of Israel.  Since God looks at the heart, the words that come out of you mouth may or may not reflect true faith.  God knows your true intent when you call out to Him.  And if you are an unbeliever – not His child – then the only prayer He will respond to from you is the prayer for salvation.  

But, even at that, many times Christians pray to God making promises to Him that they have no intention of fulfilling.  And even if they do intend to fulfill them, they are willing to accept whatever may come their way – good or bad – in the light of God’s sovereignty.  Jesus prayed (Luke 22:41-43) “He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.” 

There is nothing that you will face that compares to what Jesus was facing – incomprehensible for the human imagination. He needed spiritual strength to endure.  And so do we.  God does not need our promises – He wants our devotion and trust.  If you are not ready - spiritually ready - when you find yourself in a foxhole facing an impossible situation – You will be in trouble.  It will not be a time for empty promises.  So friend – get ready. CHARLEY

The Temptation To Lose Hope When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Have you ever been discouraged?  Of course you have.  Have you ever lost hope because life made a left turn when your thought you were going to the right?  It is the reality of living in a world that has rejected the One who created it.  A world that suffers under the burden of sin and the brokenness that sin brings.

I was talking with someone the other day.  They were sharing their concern for their child.  The child, who once had been “sold out” to Jesus, was now struggling with their faith.  Questioning their faith and God.  I would hazard a guess that most Christian parents know that concern. But it is not like pulling your child out of the street by the arm so they don’t get hit by a car.  When it comes to facing life and the struggle it brings, they must choose to get out of the street on their own.  You can certainly pray for them and should.  But no amount of talking (or nagging) will  coax them out of the street.  You must love them through their struggle of faith.

I told my friend that what we see is like looking at a picture.  A moment in time.  We should be careful that we don’t draw the wrong conclusions about their life.  I asked if they could remember a point in time when the child professed their faith in Jesus. “Yes” was the answer.  

I am an eternal security guy.  I believe that once your are adopted by faith into the family of God, nothing can change that.  I believe that being sealed by the Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14) is a forever thing.  I believe that when Jesus said (John 10:28) “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.”) That “no one” means no one, including the person who has been given eternal life. The person who was born again.

I told my friend that they needed to trust God and believe His Word is truth.  (Oh, did that sound like Proverbs 3:5-6?) That the certainty of salvation applies to their child even when they see the child wandering into the street – not embracing their faith.  Struggling to understand why what happened to them, happened to them.  Is God really there? Does their faith really matter?  Don’t draw the wrong conclusion from the photo.  God sees from beginning to end.  We only see what is now and what we can see in the photo album representing their life in the past. God is sovereign.  He’s got this.  (Hebrews 11:1) “Faith is the substance of things hoped for.  The evidence of things not seen.”  So I encouraged my friend and I encourage you, friends with this.  (Philippians 4:6-7) “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” CHARLEY

What Is Your Disaster Preparedness Plan For The Coming Storm?

There is a storm in the Gulf of Mexico.  It is that time of year.  Tropical Storm Gordon is strengthening into a hurricane and is headed for land and the people living in the communities on the coast.  It is an all too familiar story.  The people can’t change the storms intensity or direction, all they can do is get ready to deal with the aftermath of the storm.  Here in Houston, many people are “storm-shocked” from the last hurricane.  Any storm at all brings on fear and anxiety.  

That is the way it is with the storms of life.  They are sure to come.  They will often have destructive power – relationships – health – wealth.  We need to be prepared for them.  We can certainly pray that the storm will be averted, that the problem will go away, but it doesn’t always happen. So what to do. Well, you need a plan.  Jesus said (John 16:33) “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Did you catch that? Our plan is faith in Jesus and peace through Jesus.  So long as you are walking on this planet and have breath, you will be faced with storms, with tribulation.  Remember the story about Jesus and the disciples in a boat.....

(Matthew 8:23-27) “Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "LORD, save us! We're going to drown!" He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.” 

Did you catch that? The storm was raging and Jesus was sleeping.  He was at peace.  How is it that the disciples didn’t pick up on that?  Because they were focused on the storm and their fear.  Their lack of ability to do anything about it.  They wanted Jesus to fix it.  Had they truly understood His sovereignty, perhaps they would have taken a nap as well.  

Your ability to face the storms that will come your way is a function of the strength of you faith.  Jesus said they lacked faith and asked them why they were so afraid.  That was a rhetorical question because He knew their hearts and their faith.  And He knows ours and asks us the same question.  My old friend Proverbs 3:5-6 comes to mind.  Trust God and not yourself.  In the Army we said “You fight the way you train.”  In other words, you need to prepare for the battle.  Many of us put that off – that is until the storm comes.  Then we want to know where God is – Oh, he is sleeping.  It’s not a matter of God not caring, it is the point that He is sovereign – the master of the seas.  This is what King David wrote.

(Psalm 27: 1-3) “The Lord is my light and my salvation— so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident”

Will there be consequences from the storm?  Most likely.  Can you survive it? Most certainly! That is if the Lord is your light and salvation you will.

CHARLEY

Why Did My Church Treat Me That Way?

Every day, it seems, I have an encounter with someone that serves as a spark for these devotions.  Yesterday, I was talking to someone about how a particular local church (not the one we are attending) had treated a relative of theirs.  I have add similar conversations in the past with other people.  The local church is supposed to be a haven.  A place where Christians gather together. A place where you can be vulnerable and find compassion and encouragement. That is certainly the Lord’s intent.  It is, in fact, that very place, but there is a glitch – it’s called people. 

The local church can only function as it was intended when the people in the local church are saved by faith and are being led by the Spirit.  But there are a number of variables in this equation. 

First.  Not all the people who attend a local church are Christians.  You can’t know them by looking at them.  Or perhaps even talking with them.  They may be faithful attenders.  Even tithers.  They may be involved on Sunday school or small groups.  Keith Green, a Christian singer, said being in a church building  doesn’t make you a Christian any more than being in McDonalds makes you a hamburger.  The church building is not what makes the Church the Church. Faith in Jesus and obedience to the will of God does that. 

So, if you approach someone at church and expect them to be or do as a Christian when they are not, you will be disappointed .. and most likely disillusioned.  It is like when I go to Home Depot and ask someone with an orange Home Depot vest on a question about a tool or product in the store.  They don’t have a clue, but they do have a vest!  And yes, I am disillusioned with Home Depot.  And I have adjusted my expectation accordingly.  

Second.  Not every Christian attending the church is walking in obedience by faith.  There are many Christians, always have been, that are not growing in their faith.  They are so immersed in the world and the things of the world, they are indistinguishable from the those that are lost and headed for hell.  Expecting spiritual help from them is like one teenager telling another teenager “I will be there for you.”  What does that mean? One drowning person telling another drowning person, “I will be there for you.” If a Christian is living a carnal life, they have nothing Spiritual to offer you.  Don’t be surprised when you ask for a fish and they give you a stone.  It is the best they have to offer.

Years ago, during a men’s prayer meeting I was leading, I encouraged them men to be open about their lives and pray for one another – a Biblical mandate. (James 5:16) “Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous man has great power and wonderful results.” One of the men said “No way! If I do that I will hear what I said from somebody that is not in this room!” And sadly, that may not be too far from the truth.  Not everyone in the room was a Christian walking in obedience to the Spirit.

Third.  There is always the possibility that you are the problem.  I know that is a stretch.  But if you are dealing with the consequence of your sin and you have not repented, then you are part of the problem.  Jesus said (Matthew 7:3-5) "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.”  Often times we are not looking for spiritual solutions but merely relief. When we don’t get it, we blame others – even the local church.

The bottom line.  Very often we look to the church for solutions when we should be looking to the Church.  Do you see the distinction?  In the case of the conversation I had, the person affected was questioning their faith and God because of how the church had responded to them.  I quote this verse often – (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) “God is the God of all comfort who comforts us in our afflictions so we might comfort others with the same comfort we, ourselves, have received.”  That is the Church in action. Use discernment when you seek help from the Christian community. Don’t misjudge or condemn the local Church by seeking comfort from those who are incapable if giving it.  And make certain your heart is right before God when you do.  CHARLEY