"By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." - John 13:35
Some mornings I wake up to a particular thought. A thought that was prompted by the Spirit, I believe, and I sit down at my computer to write it down. Not so much for you who are reading this right now, but for me so I can capture the thought. The particular thought has to do with love and marriage. Martie and I will be married for 52 years next January. We were 21 when we got married which means that we have spent the majority of our lives together. The first day that I saw that really cute girl serving behind the soda fountain counter at Tobin Drug store I had no idea that she would be the one I would spend my life with. I could write much about that, and perhaps I will, later, but then I would not be writing about the particular thought.
Jesus brought a profound spiritual truth to light during His ministry on Earth. He showed us what the love of God the Father was like by demonstrating it on the Cross and telling us that as God's children we should do the same. Many people confuse God's children with created mankind. All people are not God's children, spiritually speaking, but they are part of His creation. When Jesus said "Love one another", He was not saying "do the best you can". That is no different from the love the rest of the world has to offer. Reciprocal love. Speaking about that, Jesus said ....
".... if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same." - Luke 6:32-33
What the world offers is a kind of love that says, "I love you because you love me and if you don't love me then I am not obliged to love you back." In contrast, as a Christian, I love you because God's love flows through me. It is spiritually natural for His love to flow through me to you. Loving proactively not conditionally.
Back to that browned eyed girl behind the counter for a moment. At first I was physically attracted to her. We fell in love and got married before we were Christians. It was not until we both knelt next to the bed together and prayed the prayer of faith that I began to learn what love is the way God intended it to be. With respect to how we are to love our wives, men, the Apostle Paul said wrote this to the Church of Ephesus.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." - Ephesians 5:25
That could take us to a whole different devotion on how Christ loved the church. We won't "chase that rabbit" today. And BTW, Paul was not saying that wives do not have to love their husbands in the same way. They are. Jesus also said that by applying it to all Christians on many other occasions as did Paul. (e.g., John 15:13, Matthew 22:37-39). But here Paul was saying that husbands are to love their wives ahead of themselves. Husbands are the head of the wives just like Jesus is the head of the church. (Ephesians 5:23) And what did Jesus do? He went to the cross for us. And so, what are husbands to do for their wives? Yep - offer themselves as a sacrifice. Be head but be a servant at the same time. To be the head as being spiritually responsible to be an example to the wife and family, not as lording the fact that you are head over them. That is abuse of power - spiritually speaking. And unfortunately, it happens all of the time.
I remember helping one particular family. The home owner was a widow. One day, her son - in his late teens, told me out of the blue, that he was the head of the household. I thought that was an odd thing to tell me at the time. But realized that he was letting me know that he was the bull of that pasture - establishing that he was the one in charge, not his mom. I thought, "Friend, you have no idea what that means."
So, having said all of that, what was this particular thought? Here it is.
"... husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." 1 Peter 3:7
The idea of "understanding", is that husbands are to be like students majoring in loving their wives. A wife is or should be the single, most important person on this planet to the husband. His life's work is understanding his wife - honoring her - knowing her strengths and her weakness. Her hopes and her fears. Readily showing her grace and mercy. Life gives me pop-quizzes everyday when it comes to loving my wife. Sometimes more than one a day! Personally, I want an "A" on my report card when I show it to my Father!
Something I find peculiar about my brain is that often, I think a thought and then I remember a song. I will close this particular thought with this song that came to mind. It is about being a student of your wife.
I memorize moments that I'm fondest of My cup runneth over with love
And so, in these moments with sunlight above My cup runneth over with love" Ed Ames, My Cup Runneth Over
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